Yes, I have moved from the Dallas area to the Kansas City area. With questions like these it is really hard to see positive things in this move. No, I don't have family here, no I don't know anyone here. I'm not entirely sure why Kansas on most days. And yes, I moved from Dallas to Kansas City, but it doesn't mean I left Dallas forever. I suppose Dallas is the more glamorous city, but that's up to the perspective. Everyone appreciates a city that they don't know much about than the one they've lived in for awhile.
I moved for a job is the line I repeat almost daily when people asked "what brought you here?" Really, I moved to see a new space. I moved because like Reba McEntire's song from the 90's, I have wondered for some time "Is There Life Out There?" Not in a depressing way, just in the spirit of curiosity. What is out there that I don't know? I spent a lot of time wondering what would my job look like in a different place? What would my life look like in a different place? What would a different place teach me that I don't know?
I mostly grew up in the Dallas area. I was somewhat familiar with the metroplex. Now that I'm away, I realize that there is so much that I still have yet to do there and still have much to learn. Funny how hindsight is 20-20! But, I grew up in the Dallas area. I went to school there. When I moved away for college I learned a lot about myself and life by being in a new setting with new people and new opportunities. After college I moved back to the Dallas area for a job and I struggled to find new people and new opportunities, and missed my college days. Over time, I came around to appreciate the people and the opportunities that the area presented me with. Of course more time passed and I still wrestled with "what's next?" and "where am I supposed to be?" and somehow those deep questions led me to Kansas. Okay, you can say God led me to Kansas, because who actually chooses to go to Kansas?! Even the fictional character, Dorothy, left Kansas and landed in Oz! Honestly, since being here, I can say that Kansas does have some charm. It's actually not all flat. There is life out here. There's more to it than just a flyover state. Because there's something to it, it has become a part of my journey. It is where I am now. It is where I'm trying to find life and meaning.
People have asked me "do feel at home?" "what's next? what's your long-term plan?" "Are you happy?" Honestly, I DON'T KNOW! I have just left a place that will always be one of my homes...if home is where the heart is, then I have a few, my people don't all live in the same city or state! I have just unpacked the boxes and I have physically "moved in." I'm not sure that I'm there emotionally or spiritually. I'm on a journey. I've been in a lot of conversations with other people about their life's journeys, but I haven't really spent time living mine. I'm looking for "life out there" I have done a lot of what I should, but I'm not sure that I've done much that I've dared. I'm not even sure I know what I dare to do at the moment. (check out "Is There Life Out There" by Reba McEntire for the reference) All I do know is that traveling has been something I've wanted to do all my life. I've wanted to gain as much perspective as I can from people and places. I left my comfortable world of Flower Mound, TX and I ventured out...
I'm grateful for the job that I have. I'm grateful for the space that I'm in and that it allows me to journey. I celebrated my birthday a few days ago and I realized that there's a lot of life that I don't know. There's a lot I'm uncertain about, but if I don't try new things and embrace the present, then I will just keep getting older and not growing any wiser. So, now that I'm in Kansas and I'm a year older, I'm singing Kenny Chesney's song: "Get Along" and really resonating with these words:
Get along, on down the road
We've got a long long way to go
Scared to live, scared to die
We ain't perfect but we try
I'm going to try some new things. I'm going to learn in this new job. I'm going to meet new people and try new things in this city. I'm going to travel beyond Kansas. I'm going to learn to blog...I'm trying this out, hopefully the writing gets better over time, I'm going to learn to braid my hair, I'm going to work harder at fitness goals, and most of all I'm going to soul search for the things that I dare to do and then do them!
Here's to year 29 and new adventures! Hope you'll ride along this journey with me!
Oh and definitely check out Reba McEntire's "Is There Life Out There" and Kenny Chesney's "Get Along" and you might just begin to find part of your journey in the lyrics!
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